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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/7/2011

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THE CHAD GOT PAID. So it turns out Clemson REALLY likes Chad Morris.

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$1.2 million for an assistant means a.) Clemson is taking its commitment to Morris' offensive system and career very seriously, and b.) ALL PLATINUM FRONTS WITH THE SPARKLES IN 'EM SON. It also means you can measure fear quantitatively in units of dollars, and that the Tigers are $1.2 million worth of afraid of just having Dabo around to run things.

BOWLY BOWL GIFTS. Our favorite detail from the annual list of bowl gifts comes from the Cotton Bowl:

Note: Bowl committee would not disclose additional details about participant gifts

Cotton Bowl is in JerrahWorld, which is run by Jerry Jones, and that means...HOOKERS! YOU'RE ALL GETTING HOOKERS! We're sorry: escorts. #ArcherTaughtUs

EVERYONE IS INTERVIEWING EVERYWHERE. In the adolescent makeout party department, we do know the three coaches in play for every job on the planet right now are Gus Malzahn, Larry Fedora, and Kevin Sumlin. Where they are going changes by the hour and by the source. Troy Calhoun is just over in a corner getting pity gropes over the pants, while Phil Fulmer is sitting home waiting for the late night booty call from Kansas and eating frosting straight from the jar.

SEASON'S GREETINGS. From BHGP, meaning it's really the most demented carol you'll hear today.

INTERNET ADVERTISING IS BRILLIANT. "Skinny Tyler Bray" will haunt your thoughts.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Luke and Run Home Jack are in charge today while we do meetings for the college football side at SBNation. Behave!