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A PROFESSIONAL PRESENTATION: MAKE US HAWAII'S NEXT COACH

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See, there's a reason Andy didn't get the job at Ole Miss. He wrote something for his application, and that disqualified him from the start. People hate writing. Shit, you may have already lost the thread here, and are now following a laser pointer across the ceiling. it's not cool of your cat to do that to you when she knows how bad your ADD is, but cats are soulless bastards. (Does it clean up YOUR shitbox? No, and that's why your relationship will always be an inequitable one.)

Andy failed because he didn't give them a PowerPoint, aka "pictures with words, and then clipart, and you've been staring at the ceilng this whole time QUICK ask a question to make it look like you belong here." We therefore humbly submit our PowerPoint presentation application for the most desirable job in all of college football, the freshly available University of Hawai'i Warriors head football coaching job.

NOTE: This is a very serious application.

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When interested--and you will be--email us at spencer@sbnation.com to send us your offer. Mahalo, and aloha to you all.