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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/29/2011

STAPP-ALACHIAN STATE VERSUS NOTRE DAME IS GONNA BE SO GREAT GUYS. CATLAB LIVES.

Don't try to disavow him, Seminoles. Scott Stapp isn't so much from Florida State as he is of Florida State. In other words: if he didn't exist, Florida State would have to collectively invent him. The buildup to the bowl game celebrating the best matchup of America's 79th best year has everyone delirious with excitement, even if the Seminoles have started four freshmen on the offensive line this year and Notre Dame starts [RANDOM EVENT GENERATOR] at quarterback.

Orlando is certainly happy enough about a sellout and hotel rooms taken in what is a slack week anyway, and boy won't you be thrilled to hear the BCS use the financial fortunes of overbuilt Orlando hotels as a defense for their existence. (Think of the Days Inn Orlando, citizen. It will literally explode if you do not support the bowl system!) Tomahawk Nation and One Foot Down trade Q and A's here and here, while Her Loyal Sons seems snarkily excited about the possibility of winning another bowl game (which remember is still a novelty for younger Notre Dame fans.)

Also this is about Dwight Howard Orlando spoiled athlete something something we have no idea. Deadlines can make fools of us all. (Also, the Alamo Bowl is on tonight, and we'll just write 'ROBERT GRIFFIN III" five hundred times later and call it a preview.)

PRAISE MACTION. Naturally the most entertaining bowl game of the season thus far would involve a MAC team, a failed 2-pt conversion, and a young Gus Chiggins going apeshit in the booth working under the pseudonym "Dan Hawkins." Air Force made the ballsy call, and came within a kicked fumble on a two-point conversion of beating the Most Interesting Team in the World, the Toledo Rockets.

In comparison, the Holiday Bowl was pure shit and bears no mention here, but that's not really fair. On its own merits or lack thereof, and looked especially shitty next to hot MACtion mixed with zany triple option football. (There was facial hair, though so it wasn't a complete loss.)

OREGON LINEMAN SAVES TINY PIECE OF BEEF FROM SAD FATE IN MURDEROUS CARNIVORE'S GULLET. Or saved a guy from choking. It really depends whether you're a deranged vegan or not, really.

HAHHAHAHA THIS IS TOTALLY HAPPENING. You might want to listen to Finebaum today because even though this is obviously a rumor planted by one PennLive commenter, it will become fact by 2 p.m.

WE ARE SO PROUD.....of this BHGP post.

ETC: Mike Pereira, bitchcraft master. This airport seems fun. For those planning to travel to MIzzou, Branson explained. Always get the first word in with a genie.