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FAREWELL TO THEE, FAIR CAPTAIN. And this is our favorite moment from the bygone Dennis Erickson era.

Dennis Erickson went down with the ship, but you never anticipate that before the compartment floods and you drown that there will be all And explosions. And the torture pirates with their hooks and lances, and jesus, bees? Where did the bees come from? Seriously, who puts a swarm of angry African bees on a ship? That makes no sense, but then again, neither does anything that happened in the Dennis Erickson era.

Kellen Moore and the rest of Boise's seniors finished their tours of duty by happily torpedoing the derelict S.S. Erickson, a victory foretold three days ago in the amazing Doug Martin victory in the Las Vegas Bowl dance-off.

YES THIS MEANS THEY WILL LIKELY BE VERY GOOD AT FOOTBALL THINGS. Matt Barkley is staying, and USC will have the most compelling bandito storyline next year as the team with nothing to lose with scholarships hitting the depth chart, but a loaded starting 11 on both sides of the ball. (Provided they play something like defense.) (And that is a large assumption.) (HOW THE HELL DID USC LOSE TO ARIZONA STATE REALLY THEY DID GO LOOK IT UP.)

DOO DOO IS AN AFFECTIONATE TERM. Jadeveon Clowney just loves Christmas, guys, and if tell him Santa isn't real he is going to cry so hard you'll never, ever get over the guilt. In other South Carolina news, they've figured out Georgia's future schedules and hooooweee, does Kentucky ever have it comin', son.

CONTINUED LAWYERING: NO, YOUR SUIT HAS NO BASIS. The Big East and West Virginia find a surprising lack of merit in each other's lawsuits against the other.

CLEMSON DOES NOT PASS A FASHION TEST. We'll agree that the Clemson unis are a matter of taste and loyalty, but are completely wrong about UCLA's uniforms.

SURPRISE! Texas is still rich.

DOUBLE SURPRISE! Auburn defenders were just falling down at the end of the LSU game.

HORRENDOUS. TAMU lost an offensive lineman in an auto accident yesterday. Condolences, thoughts, prayers of your choice in their direction for an unfathomable loss.