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THE WEEKEND PLAN

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TAMPA, FL - DECEMBER 1:  Coach Dana Holgorsen of the West Virginia Mountaineers shows all the fucks he does not give Thursday night against South Florida. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
TAMPA, FL - DECEMBER 1: Coach Dana Holgorsen of the West Virginia Mountaineers shows all the fucks he does not give Thursday night against South Florida. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
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Usually we have a GPS report up around now, but for the quick and dirty purposes of recapping both what is currently not happening and what will possibly happen this weekend, a quick summary.

Dan Mullen Is Not Going To Interview For The Penn State Job. At least not according to Dan Mullen, interviewed post-haste by Brandon Marcello (yay you, Brandon) after Rivals' Penn State site said the Miss State coach was indeed talking with the Nittany Lions on Monday. The translation in 2011 terms: Dan Mullen has a previous conviction for trafficking in exotic animals illegally, the news is coming out this weekend, and he will be the next coach of Crystal Palace.

Mike Sherman Is The Classiest Press Conference Fareweller Ever. We're looking for video, but for the moment you'll just have to take the internet's word that Mike Sherman gave, like, the classiest damn press conference ever. There is no truth to the report, however, that he found out he was fired from a recruit's family. He was called while sitting in the driveway, and then walked in to find out the recruit's family knew before he did. Totally different scenario, guys!

Yes, This Means They Had Sex Once. Lane Kiffin did tweet Happy Birthday to Britney Spears.

We'll be in Atlanta for the SEC Championship Game this weekend. Bad news! We did not get credentialed. Good news! Doug came through with luxury suite tickets, so we will have all the amenities of the press box plus a bar at our disposal. Suck it, SEC Media Credentialing. We got in, and unlike the other times we can get drunk during, not before the game.

Say hello if you're around, and enjoy CHAMPIONSHIP INEVITABILITY WEEKEND.