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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/2/2011

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NO, WE AIN'T SOUTH CAROLINA. Spurrier never said "..at least we ain't Clemson," or at least not on the record. The quote came from South Carolina announcer and overt homer Todd Ellis, who attributed the line to Spurrier in the broadcast of South Carolina's defeat of Clemson this past Saturday.

DABO MAD THO. DABO WANNA TALK.

"You know, it's sad that I'm being asked that, but now that you have let me talk about it for three minutes." The line about "we've won more bowl games than they've ever been to" is the choicest cut, but mentioning that having 35 wins in 5 years would get Dabo fired is also splendid framing, sir. Naturally, Spurrier's denial was short, to-the-point, and ended with a stabbing.

"People who believe whatever they read on Twitter just aren’t so smart in my opinion," he said.

That's a bit out of context, since Spurrier says he's got no problem with Dabo. We believe this, since Spurrier has a habit of making his dislikes known publicly, and is in the bottom five coaches in America ranked by giveafuck.

SPEAKING OF DISMISSIVE WANKING MOTIONS. Mike Sherman was indeed fired--no, not by message board--last night at Texas A&M, finishing his career at 25-25, the season at 6-6, and leaving the parking lot of the facility for the last time with exactly a half-tank of gas. (Don't ask him how he is. As always, Mike Sherman is "so-so" today after his firing.) The dismissal comes after a disappointing season, but Sherman's malaise was not just on the field. As the Houston Chronicle points out, Sherman was unenthused about A&M's move to the SEC, a vote that did not endear him to TAMU President Loftin.

There is the larger point of him being the latest insipid NFL transplant to take a college football just short of a simmer and then leave it there without actually cooking anything, something Matt Hinton hits so well here that we want to hug his little head until it cracks like a brilliant coconut:

Sherman returned to College Station from a decade in the NFL, including six years as head coach of the Green Bay Packers, and may well go down as the patron saint of dour, milquetoast refugees from the league.

TAMU is allegedly in the running for Art Briles, Larry Fedora, and Kevin Sumlin. Sumlin has also been offered the job at Arizona State. Kevin Sumlin is going to be really rich in a few days no matter what happens, and that is awesome because unlike all but three or four miserable NFL transplants, Kevin Sumlin is a college football coach, and likes to try and win games by scoring points and stuff.

BEAUTIFUL POETRY. Burning. It's still the rage in 2011, especially for USF fans. Stedman Bailey's catch last night to put WVU in position for the game-winning field goal was positively bananapants, and you should watch it. Now every West Virginia fan has to pull for Cincinnati to beat UConn, because this is the Big East and no one moves forward without someone else falling into machinery and dying.

I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT. But while we're talking, Mike Stoops will happily confirm that he's visited with Urban Meyer, but not about anything he'll tell you about.

GO GATORS. It's not the championship we wanted, but in a dire year, we'll take it.