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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/19/2011

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RALLY SONS OF NOTRE DAME/ ICE SKATING FOOTBALL'S NOW THE GAME. The most endearing parts of someone's personality are the bits they can't possibly hide. An ice skating spectacular on NBC might want to include some football, sure. But to get the band there, and use their uniforms while blaring their fight song? Tres domeresque, reader. Plus domeresque, even.

The band looks like they'd rather be eating tinfoil biscuits and sitting in wet socks in a cold room. Your mother liked it, though, and that's a good summary of Notre Dame football in the modern era. Notre Dame: Your Mother Likes Us. (As opposed to Miami football, which would be "Your slutty cousin liked us, but then you had a kid, and you just don't understand my emotional needs, and your wages have been garnished and why did I ever get with a man like you, Miami? Why?")

EXCUSE ME WHILE I WATCH THIS KICKER KNOCK A FLYING GARBAGE CAN THROUGH THESE UPRIGHTS. Of the weekend's trio of bowl games, there were two highlights you should be aware of before advancing to the Beef O'Brady's Bowl, the crown jewel of the Tampa Bay Area Bowl Coalition Of Games Not Including The Outback. The first is Penn Wagers working blind drunk magic at the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. The second is the glorious dogshit kick that eked through the right upright for the Ragin' Cajuns' win in the NOLA Bowl, sending the Cajuns to victory and a long giddy skid down the troughs of Bourbon Street.

Did anything of interest happen in the New Mexico Bowl?

Even the Owls’ band, with its dance-infused version of a Kanye West tune, ruled halftime over the Wyoming band and its tribute to Billy Joel.

So, no. Nothing interesting whatsoever happened in the New Mexico Bowl, but runaway golf cart is also a necessity.

FINE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? So Will Muschamp did interview Kerwin Bell for the open OC position and please, old-school Gator homers, please be quiet now and let our coach hire the drab, pro-style drone of his dreams. (via low expectations.) Muschamp does have a noon presser scheduled for today, and if he announces an OC we'll start drinking early because a.) this seems very unlikely, and b.) it's Christmas week and we'll take the excuse.

ALSO STILL LOOKING: Auburn's offer to Mark Stoops was reportedly rebuffed, leaving them without an OC or a DC going into recruiting season. Please go ahead and predict disaster, and then watch Chizik somehow lift two good recruits from you anyway because if the man has any superpowers, it's the ability to recruit against all reasonable expectations. (He and Dabo Swinney are the wonder twins of recruiting. "FORM OF INEXPLICABLY APPEALING TO 18 YEAR OLDS.")

WHEN WE FIND THE GUY WHO DID THIS OH MAN WAIT WHAT-- Houston football's boosters lost a good chunk of change to a Ponzi scheme, and when they get their hands on the guy who did it they'll be like "oh gross, dead guy" because David Salinas prosecuted the sentence for his fraud in a very direct and self-determined manner.

URBAN ON THE PROWL. La la la, Urban Meyer takin' ur d00dz. If Danny Hope hated Rich Rodriguez, he's going to use ungodly oaths to describe Meyer.

WEIS, KANSAS, AND THE PASSION OF THE CRIST. Bill looks at Kansas' decimated roster. It's not pretty, even with potential transfers.

THIS NEEDS YAKETY SAXING. Tim Tebow went into the wilderness for 40 days, and it looked like this.