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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 11/30/2011

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WOOOOOOO. Apologies for the lateness. Wednesday is as close as we come to a weekend during the season, and plus we didn't get much sleep since LSU is in town, and you know what that means: Les Miles riding a pig through your front yard at 4 in the morning.

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OLE MISS IS ALREADY SHOWING SIGNS OF LIFE. If their vast media conspiracy in Mississippi is already planting rumors about Dan Mullen going to Penn State that are completely false, and yet bubble their way up to the surface of the national media? OH YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, OLE MISS. You are going to be just fine. Next time, guys, just remember to stick to credible media sources like this fine website.

CHARLIE WEIS IS ON THE LIST TO COACH BOTH OLE MISS AND PENN STATE. Heard he's hot for both jobs, and so are both schools! It's a bidding war, and agents are working their phones to the very limit of their batteries' lives, and swapping 'em out trying to take all the hot action on college football's most charismatic assistant! Our source says one of the two is a lock, but only if he doesn't go to the Jacksonville Jaguars first!*

*This is completely made up. We would love to see it happen, and it is fake.

PUTZ IS A TERM OF RESPECT IN A LANGUAGE SOMEWHERE, YES? In the ongoing administrative schism at Texas A&M, desperate people might do things in a desperate fashion. They might backbite. They might leak rumors anonymously. Or they might go on a message board and call their superiors "a putz" and "a puppet." This happened, and as we said yesterday, the Aggies are going to be just FINE in the SEC, y'all.

RUMORS TO DISAPPOINT. Randy Edsall denies going anywhere but Maryland for the next year, and Maryland fans refill their shot glasses full of drain cleaner.

READ THE WHOLE THING JUST TO GET TO CRAIG JAMES GETTING A ONE. Bill previews the championship week games, and then gives James/Patrick a "1" on the announcer ratings. Weirdness of the week: Musburger and Herbstreit being sent to Clemson/VT and not to Bedlam. There can only be one explanation, and it has to do with a Tulsa bookie with a bat with Brent's name written on it.

TROLL SO HARD. Doug does have a point: LSU hasn't even played the number one team in the nation, guys.

TROLL SO HARD, TWO. Siri, your knowledge of all things is beyond impressive.

IF YOU HAVE BOTTLE SERVICE AT YOUR SPORTS BAR. We will only order it to make braining you with a bottle that much easier, and then leave without paying the bill.

AND YOU NEEDED TO CRY A LITTLE THIS MORNING SO HERE YOU GO. Register-Guard/SI contributor George Schroeder's son is no longer hooked up to a dialysis machine, and this is better news than it even sounds like at first.