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AU REVOIR, CAP'N DENNIS

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Volcano Golf-Cart Day is upon us: Dennis Erickson has been fired at Arizona State and will coach the team in their final game, and then complete our five year old prophesy of Erickson coaching the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl, going to the nearest golf course on one last tipsy turn around the links, and then tragically ending it all by speeding into the crater of a very live and raging volcano. (Shhh. Arizona State's actually going to the Las Vegas Bowl, most likely. Facts will interfere with our budding career as a prophet.)

If ASU ends up in the Las Vegas bowl, then Vontaze Burfict ends up in Las Vegas for the night. That alone should be enough to terrify the senses, but at least Erickson can kick loose properly in Las Vegas now that he's been terminated. Entire last paycheck on black? YOU BETCHA, SIR. He'll do it at Circus Circus just to be properly old school about it, and then roll out onto the strip to see Burfict throwing a car into the flames at the Mirage fountain, which is also...wait...A VOLCANO. We were right after all, just off by a few thousand miles.

(Hopefully FAU will hire Erickson to continue the "crusty old sea captain" theme of coaching hires.)