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Y U NO STOP.  It had to be done, and we didn't even know it had to be done until it was:



HAIL TO THE MAC. Yet another barnburner for America's conference, and another brick in the wall of our theory of "less skill=more entertaining football." This one was decided in part by an extremely fishy late hit call against Ball State, but giving up a 31-14 lead never helps your case, either. Also, in addition to sort of cheating by using the player Taylor Martinez wishes he was, (Chandler Harnish,) NIU may have been using Force Pushes, and that is most unsporting, Huskies.

KNILE DAVIS HEALS WITH THE POWER OF PURE UNDILUTED V.  The supplies from Bon Temps have him up and running after a disastrous leg injury in fall practice, but Bill wonders if he should even play football this year at all.

BUTCH DAVIS ASKS YOU TO BELIEVE UNLIKELY THINGS. Butch Davis claims he had no idea John Blake had a close relationship with an agent, which is a lot like you claiming you had no idea was a porn site. ("I'm sorry, I just thought she was a friendly woman saying hello on the internet.") He also does this on Youtube, so we look forward to Davis' budding internet stardom and the inevitable videos where he just makes fun of commenters by name for calling him gay and arguing over Justin Bieber.

MMMM FREE FELDMAN. Tim Jernigan. Yeah, he's really fun to read about two weeks out from a certain assbeating.

THIS SEEMS CRUEL. Give Houston Nutt credit: he's at least enforcing rules like he's still a coach, which is either a real commitment to seeing this thing through to the end, or a deliberate attempt to punish ungrateful Ole Miss fans with maximum cruelty for refusing to kowtow to repeated reminders of "back to back New Year's Day bowl games."

BALLS ON BALLS ON BALLS. Win one game, and suddenly you're predicting the end to a 22 game road losing streak, Buffs. Why the hell not? If you're going to call your shot against anyone, make it UCLA. Even their fans want them to lose at this point, so you're helping two fanbases at this point.

YOU HAVE REDUCED US TO SCANDINAVIAN NEO-SOUL.  Jesus, please just beat Furman, and then make whatever impending disaster is waiting behind that at Florida State a gentle demise. WOOOO CHICK-FIL-A BOWL AGAINST CLEMSON FUCK CLEMSON.

ETC: Can't stop hitting the Rick Ross samples here? You are not alone. This close to moving to rural California. Might have found "D" for next week's Alphabetical well ahead of time.