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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/6/2011

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I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE [PEELS OUT IN INTERCEPTOR.]  This is from earlier this week, and we don't care because Dana Holgorsen doesn't know about this popsicle stand, bitches.

 

Please note that Rich Rodriguez thinks it is a bad idea to criticize West Virginia fans like that, and therefore this whole thing is probably a very good idea. If you need Dana he'll be watching film, pouring Red Bull into his eyeballs, and arranging a torrid hotel three-way with two members of the popular 1990s R 'n B act En Vogue for later. They will indeed get his loving, but when will you give him yours, West Virginia, by showing up to watch them destroy the Bowling Greens of the world? 

LET'S HAVE A BABY TO SAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP, MIZZOU. The tepid cannot be overstated, since Mizzou sources have stated they'd rather have joined the Big Ten, and SEC schools can't even come to a nine-vote consensus on whether or not to invite Mizzou into the SEC. David Allan Coe (via JonMorse) has some thoughts on the troubling matter.

POWER RANKINGS OH SO MUCH POWER. They went up a bit late yesterday, so Power Rankings are reposted for your pleasure. Other more precise metrics come in Bill C.'s offensive and defensive S&P+ rankings. (Also, Bill wonders when Clemson is going to Clemson out on us, while BC Interruption finds Clemson doing WHAT THE HELL 8-BALL.

PLEASE ALLOW HIM TO REINTRODUCE HIMSELF. The not inconsiderable absence of fifth-year senior and All-SEC defensive end Jake Bequette may end this Saturday for Arkansas. Barrett Trotter better become more like Barrett Runner, if you know what we mean! [/dies] Meanwhile, at Miami, DT MARCUS Forston is out for the season after slimming down and getting in the best shape of his life for the 2011 season. "Never lose weight" is clearly the lesson here.

IF A DEFENSE FALLS IN THE FOREST. Rephrased: if the Colorado defense plays with six men, will anyone notice? In other suspension news, the Dutch connection and subsequent suspensions for Boise explained.

GRITZ BLITZ REBORN. Manny Diaz was like, the best hire ever. Randy Edsall was like, not.

AND NOW FUTURESPORT. Any reference to the immortal Futuresport is a bonus in our books. In more literal terms, One Foot Down looks at a very intriguing matchup for Notre Dame this weekend in facing the Air Force offense.

NEBRASKA FEELING SLAPPY.  "Taylor Martinez sucks!" [/gets in car and doesn't stop driving until he sees the Pacific and then gets on freighter bound for Singapore.]

ECONOMICS FIGHT! OH SETH DAVIS YOU BEEN SLAPPED BY AN INVISIBLE HAND. Georgia Tech feels a similar slap, but we blame Maryland for that low ticket price there. Meanwhile, Bill Russell joins the Ed O'Bannon antitrust suit, and we now welcome the hysterical and myopic Boston media to the house for this event. Yes, we will be moving the furniture around just to confuse you, Dan Shaughnessy.

WE ARE SURE THIS IS WHAT STEVE JOBS MEANT BY CHANGING THE WORLD.  Exactly this.