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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/3/2011

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STILL UNDEFEATED. You get knocked out like that, you can't even be mad, man.

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After this weekend, Alabama is averaging 39.6 yards allowed per game, and lowered that number Saturday night without one of their starting linebackers. All matches this year will be no holds barred, and submissions and knockouts are one and the same for them.

I ONLY HAVE 132 HOURS TO LIVE. LOVE ME NOW.  There is no official word from the team yet, but if reports that John Brantley has "a high ankle sprain" are true, then freshman Jeff Driskel is the starter for Florida's game against LSU this week. The downsides are everywhere: Driskel, a freshman, will be playing football in the conference's toughest environment against a defense with a "Tyrann Mathieu," a device whose explosive power and tactical capabilities may be only now coming to full fruition. Upsides? He can legitimately pull additional lady-fish this week with the tantalizing bait of "I am not long for this world. Take your fruits while ye may, maiden."  

The numbers are promising! Promising hot death and struggle, that is. Who wants to live forever? Not this team, baby.

RANKINGS, ETC. Boise begins the predicted midseason slide as other teams jostle and fall above them. TCU falling out of the polls does NOT help them one whit.

BUT IN MORE IMPORTANT NEWS: The OU/TX MS Paint Thread of Dominance has returned, and features lots and lots and lots of dicks. Like, dicks on dicks on dicks, and dicks on dicks on dicks. It's NSFW, but if your employer has a problem with poorly drawn penises, then you don't want to work for them, man.

ON THAT SHERM. It's really unfair to compare Mike Sherman to Dennis Franchione, both because he is coaching in completely different circumstances than Franchione, and because it makes him look really bad. In other Aggie news, the Corps of Cadets says Chile ahora, Chile siempre!

WELL OF COURSE HE DOES. In addition to making freakboy catches, Andrew Luck calls his own plays during the hurry-up, and probably showers quickly after the game so he can get back to his orphaned California Condor chicks he keeps in his dorm room. They miss daddy, and also he's helping to save the species, because he is Andrew Luck and that is what he does.