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Twitter predictions for this weekend: 140 characters that sort of apply to the week's action.

MICHIGAN AT MICHIGAN STATE: Denard Robinson pinwheels through gold coins, ring-a-ding-ding. Dantonio, playing Pong, frowns. "Moves too fast for me. Un-American, sirs."

BAYLOR AT TEXAS A&M. A linebacker sneers. "Gonna sue when I sack you?" "Call me Phoenix Wright, because this is an OBJECTION, bitch," RG3 says, throwing a score.

LOUISVILLE AT CINCINNATI. Vanquished and prostrate on the ground, Charlie of Strong bled his last into the sod. With his last breath, he croaked: "Your chili sucks."

SOUTH CAROLINA AT MISSISSIPPI STATE. "Dr. Spurrier, is it just random, or is there indeed a pattern to strange SEC West losses?" A pause. "Cowbells. Cowbells all the way down."

IOWA STATE AT MISSOURI. Pinkel stood at the video counter. "Season one of Breaking Bad? Bestiality porn? What's the deal?" "Just trying to understand my opponent."

FLORIDA STATE AT DUKE. Dick Vitale's body lay on the tiles of the ESPN cafeteria, a single Ticonderoga pencil driven into his eye. Lee Corso: "I regret nothing."

OHIO STATE AT ILLINOIS: Fickell went for the triangle choke. Zook struggled. Fickell grunted: "Submit." "I'd rather go for two," said Zook as he punched his balls.

OKLAHOMA STATE AT TEXAS. Justin Blackmon is a nice person. This is why he'll spend the third quarter running a "supportive embrace" route at a weeping Blake Gideon.

LSU AT TENNESSEE. To possums and raccoons, the people of Tennessee are genocidaires and war criminals. You killed Tyrann Mathieu's relatives. Prepare to die.

ALABAMA AT MISSISSIPPI. Saban strides to midfield. "Hell of a team you have there, Houston." "Really, Nick? Wow, do you really mean that?" "Of course not. Goodbye."

FLORIDA AT AUBURN. #deathofquarterbacking #slappytoddlerfight #realblessedtojustturntheballover5times #ChrisRaineyfortwoyards #UtahStatelookedbetter #deathbyFG

KANSAS STATE AT TEXAS TECH. Lowe's nursery in Lubbock. "You deciding on fall plants, ma'am?" "Yes. How did you know?" "I'm Bill Snyder. I grow things. I help people."

NORTHWESTERN AT IOWA. Persastrong: like "LIVESTRONG," but the performance-enhancing drug of choice is not EPO, but is instead getting a B plus just to feel alive.

ARIZONA STATE AT OREGON. XTREEM bros, please stop BASE jumping off Brock Osweiler. You never ask permission and your climbing tools leave ugly little divots in him.