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SAVE US OKLAHOMA-KANSAS, YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE

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Sometimes I think Sal Paradise was right. Then I realize Stephen Garcia is very probably currently hitch hiking across these United States of America getting drunk wherever he feels like, eating Taco Bell out of something resembling a trough, and having his way with far too many people's daughters for us to feel good about where we're at as a country.

For the generation of twentysomething's that proceeded even Don Drapers' was the Beat Generation, the one currently encompassing those settling into the languor of adulthood is the Beat 'Em Down Generation. We've gotten far too accustomed to our Cal-versus-anyone football contests, our Boise State-Georgia's, hell, even our Red River Shootouts. But alas, this week's Rootability explores what's on this week's plate, and from first glance, it seems like this hefty serving may just lack the definitive preponderance of ass kickings we've grown spoiled by of late. Allow it to clarify (that Denard Robinson is like "Dolphin Tale" but with missiles) and provide direction (about a little place Coach Paul Johnson likes to call the Port of ShuttheF*#@Up) on this weekend's slate while moving you one step closer to finding a semblance of something, anything real in the ever evolving tenor of the moment. And remember, above all else, at some point, be it this weekend or beyond, this will invariably be you: