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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 10/14/2011

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DRY BONE VALLEY.  Oh so appropriate for watching Auburn and Florida attempt to scratch something like a football game out of fallow ground.

 

Brann Dailor is a god. A living, breathing, one-hand-snare-rolling god.

HEY HOW ABOUT LAST NIGHT? Did you watch a football game between two Pac-12 teams at a baseball stadium in San Francisco? Well, neither did San Francisco, but you missed nothing if you were a Cal fan. Jeff Tedford treed those hippies for nothing, we tell you. NOTHING.

BILL: JUST HAVING A REAL GOOD TIME. Between Pit Bull and Mandments, Dr. Pepper's is wasting exactly one dollar out of every one dollars spent on advertising.

THE JACOBY ERA CONTINUES. Though Will Muschamp would rather discuss Star Wars analogies than tell you how his ankle is, Jeff Driskel must still be suffering the effects of the injury sustained in the Alabama game since Jacoby Brissett will be the starter for the second week in a row.  Meanwhile, Barrett Trotter is still the starter for Auburn until he's not, which at the pace the Auburn offense is going could mean seeing Kiehl Frazier, or just what all Auburn fans want anyway: Michael Dyer running the Wildcat for four quarters.

THIS WEEKEND THE MITTEN BLEEDS. The Only Colors points to Denard's margin of error as the margin for the game, and that makes sense because Denard Robinson just dispenses miracles all day, but doesn't really seem to notice who he's handing them out to sometimes.UM has found losing to a rival to be an unpleasant experience, and that is newsworthy because

SPEAKING OF IMPENDING DISASTER. ATVS previews the Tennessee game, which is really courteous of them since they have nothing to worry about, and will spend the second half marveling at Tennessee's bull-stubborn insistence on "running the ball" when the have "two and a half pulling guards and no tailbacks" for a ground game.

WELL THAT IS A GAMBLING COLUMN. Writing about college football wagering in the voice of Warren G. Harding makes so much more sense than you think it would.

OUR FAVORITE PLAY IS "WHEN I TALK, SHUT THE FUCK UP." Todd Monken must be a practitioner of the fine art of motivational profanity.