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SURE BUDDY YOU JUST GO I'M SURE YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS-- Bill Snyder handles this like an old bro should.

(Via via Bring On The Cats. ) "Mr. Snyder, I'm afraid we are out of the fresh dil pickles, as there was a large picnic that came in and just cleaned us durn out, sir." "Alrighty then." <----THAT EXACT LOOK. Gary Pinkel was probably the guy who broke up with women like this in college, too. "Best of luck, Sandy, and we're through."  [walks off in a hurry.]

NECESSARY THINGS: This Week in Schadenfreude is always mandatory, but seriously you must if only for this:

The Numerical is also mandatory. Read them, grow smarter, and then come back here to be smartstupid with the rest of us.

EMORY BLAKE, QUESTIONABLE. In the gradual scaling of injury qualifications, questionable is somewhere between "deceased" and "kind of gassy," but it does mean that Emory Blake, Auburn's leading wide receiver, will be doubtful for the game on Saturday against Florida. Given the complete lack of quarterbacking and receiver talent on either side of the ball, this may end up looking like a 1974 Auburn/Florida matchup by the time it's done. (Complete with protests!)

SCUMBAG STEVE. Well, sure. (via Reddit/CFB.) After yesterday's dismissal from the South Carolina football program, Garcia described his reaction as "flabbergasted," and no, he did not use that incorrectly and/or as another word for "wasted." Meanwhile, the State repubs the article that pissed Spurrier off because LOL PVs.

PAUL JOHNSON JUST DRAWIN' SOME STUFF UP, Y'ALL.  The yellow legal notepad over there is our playbook (for this week, at least.)

SOMEONE SPENT THEIR LIFE SAVINGS WATCHING RICH RODRIGUEZ RUNNING MICHIGAN INTO A POWER GRINDER. They really did, but John Bacon's all-access three-year portrait of the Michigan Experiment should be an incredible look into the slow-motion disaster of the Rodriguez era. Also, how do you know it's a Michigan guy who wrote it.

I secured a book contract with a great publisher, Farrar, Straus & Giroux, which eschews sports writers for high brow authors like Ian Frazier, Jonathan Franzen and Jeffrey Eugenides. I felt lucky then, and I still do.

[sniff sniff] Well, if any program is the Lamberts from The Corrections, it is Michigan.

I LOVE YOU MR. WAR CRIMINAL. JCVD, just hangin' out with Chechen mass murderers.