A SONG FOR OHIO STATE THIS MORNING.
Ohio State--aka Big Meech, Larry Hoover--outspends Michigan two to one, just one of the fascinating shards of data you can find in this breakdown of SEC vs. B1G spending in Forbes. On the whole the profitability numbers paint a picture which would not surprise anyone familiar with the SEC, since the conference is more profitable with smaller stadiums, and yet is outgained by the Big Ten when it comes to revenue in all sports. Feel free to start the B-1-G chants, and an SEC fan will remind you there are no other sports than football.*
*The notable exception to this will be Kentucky basketball fans. They do not speak for us, especially when they're threatening to kill columnists (no seriously, like, threatening to kill them) and generally being far more into basketball than any reasonable human being should.
The real ROI wonderboys in all this are Wisconsin, who spend a sum best described as "dick" when it comes to football spending and yet get top ten finishes with regularity. Oh, and Illinois is spending less on football than Indiana and Purdue. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WRONG INDIANA AND PURDUE---
THAT DUDE CAN DRINK. We watched Leaving Las Vegas with a friend of ours who took away this sole lesson from the harrowing film: "Fuck, that dude could fucking DRINK, brah! HIGH FIVE!" As true as this is, he's not the only one who thinks this way. From a piece examining the recruiting fallout from the Iowa football program's rhabdo outbreak last week following a heinous one hundred rep squat workout:
Iowa safety recruit Nico Law said no other schools have made a late push to take him away from the Hawkeyes...Law said he's prepping for Iowa's workout program
"I know I better get in shape quick, and that's what I'm doing right now to prepare myself for the future," he said. "Strength and conditioning is no joke up there."
That dude can drink, and at Iowa conditioning ain't no joke. The remaining five players who were hospitalized over the weekend have been released from the hospital, and are said to be doing well. Happy thoughts to all, and be nice to your kidneys even though cheap spares are just walking all around the place begging to be sold on the free market for a fair price. <----This message brought to you by The University of Chicago School of Economics.
WHEEE LET'S WATCH CHRISTIAN PONDER THROW MORE TOUCHDOWNS. The Senior Bowl featured an FSU quarterback doing well, and yeah, we watched as much of it as you imagined we would watch given this scenario. The only real pleasure was listening to Mike Mayock, the thoughtful draft commentator. That's "the", with a definite article, as in only one of them.
FAILING MATH PUBLICLY. It's time for oversigning and late skullduggery! Houston Nutt approves! But no seriously, this shit is going to happen all week on both sides. "The grayshirt is the new redshirt." ---Recruiting expert Tim Gunn.
OBESITY WORKS FOR YOU. Andy Staples points out the virtues of rampant obesity: it makes for splendid defensive linemen.
SYLVESTER CROOM WILL ALSO DO PREGAME VOICEOVERS. The sound of needles scratching on seismographs at the University of Alabama Geology labs can only mean that Sylvester Croom is interviewing for a job in Tuscaloosa.