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MONDAY MORNING EXPRESS EDITION (due to Louisiana Travel Lag.) 


TREY BURTON TREY BURTON TREY BURTON TREY BURTON TREY BURTON TREY BURTON. That was the plotline and our new mantra when we start thinking about how bad we've been in the redzone. But remember that nothing will work against Alabama, because We Don't Stand a Chance in This Game.® (A licensed phrase of EDSBS, who reminds you that we will lose to Alabama by 7 TDs because they are the best football team to ever play the game! Yikes, especially because we're not healthy!


98% OF THE MICHIGAN OFFENSE IS IN THIS KNEE: Denard Robinson's knee will be fine in a few days. Not that Michigan fans needed to panic anyway, brah. YOU HAVE THE FORCE AT THE READY. (To transfer.) (And not start.) #QBFORCE #BOOM

TALES OF EPIC MISERY AND REMORSE. Barking Carnival says that Texas is exactly what it is, which is not all that  good so use your expectations for firewood. Kyle is so distraught he's resorting to scripture to process Georgia, while Doug quotes one of the odder pieces of the Book of Richt

HE NEEDS TO TALK TO SOME LSU FANS.  Paul Myerburg's Pre-Snap Read is phenomenal, but when he says that "Gary Crowton is made of teflon" it's hard to see how he's missed the legions of LSU fans hammering nails into pumpkins labeled "Gary Crowton's head." Mentioning him this weekend in Baton Rouge elicited a lot of reactions from LSU fans, but none of them came close to "Well, it's Jordan Jefferson's fault Crowton sucks." Most of those reactions involved stabbing things, praying to malign gods for intervention, and frequent mentions of the phrase "Even Mormons hate him." 

OF COURSE HE'S LOOKING. To be fair, Conor Shaw probably won't run headfirst into plays like Cap'n Brahsome did in coughing up two late fumbles against Auburn, so it might not be the worst idea in the world to give him a shot.

HELLO STANFORD. We have a Stanford sighting in a lofty and rising position in the poll.