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A LIST OF REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PORNO NAMES FROM COLLEGE FOOTBALL

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It being sort of a slow Wednesday, our minds drifted to where they usually wander: to adult film, namely to a long and completely tangential list of today's college football names that could easily double as adult film star monikers. This list follows, unless you really want us to write something about how Kentucky has zero turnovers on the year. (They do.) (No, seriously.) 

Some required some...modification. Others were left whole. You should probably be able to tell which ones. 

 

Dont'a Thighplower, Alabama

John Brawntley, Florida

Ross Homan, Ohio State

Devier Hoesey, Ohio State

Denards Roboneson, Michigan

Colin Kaeperdick, Nevada

Jake Cocker, Washington

Deonte Thumpsome, Florida

Jerrod Johnson, TAMU

Cameron Saddler, Pitt

Ryan Mallett, Arkansas

BJ Daniels, USF 

Robert Stiffin' III, Baylor

Phil Slutzenjerkin', Auburn

Nate Moantana,Notre Dame

Christian Poundher, FSU

Steamin' Garcia, South Carolina

Rex Burkhead, Nebraska 

Terrelle Pry-her, tOSU

Patrick Peterson, LSU

Cameron Splayward, tOSU

Blake Giddyup, Mizzou

Jared Prick, Nebraska

Jascoring Herass, Miami

LaRam Byrd, Miami

Casey Robottom, Tulane

Van Chew, Syracuse

Ahmad Black Dick, Florida

Akeem Bent, Georgia 

Seandrill Henderson, Miami

Ryan Assib, Syracuse

Devin Shaguilar, Washington

Travis Ballz, Maryland 

Adrian Cannon, Maryland

Kalvin Seamonson, Maryland

Landry Bones, Oklahoma

Andrew Fuck, Stanford

Dave Shimskie, Boston College

Calvin Bumphis, Mississippi State

 

Contributors: Holly, Janie, and of course you in the comments thread.