We never minded Vince Dooley. Since Florida football started in 1990, we have no reason to have an issue with him, or with his amazingly coiffed Shower Discipline Overlord son, Precious, or especially with Barbara Dooley, who has a recipe for meat pies you can reheat on the grill and is the one who insists on occasionally calling Derek "Precious." If you don't respect the value in either of these in a slightly batty but charming woman with a Southern accent, we don't even want to know you.
Dooley also unveiled his plan to hire football coaching legend RON PRINCE in a press conference at Kennesaw State. KSU is starting their football program, and Dooley the Elder is conducting an exploratory committee that IS TOTALLY GOING TO HIRE RON P.*
Oh, you might have tried to play coy, Vince, but saying "Kansas State" when you meant "Kennesaw State" tells us everything we need to know about your plans for taking the Black and Gold to greatness.
With Ron Prince as their new head coach, the program will begin in 2014 should win their first national championship in 2014 and a half. Sorry to be conservative, but this is a startup and even RonP's powers are limited.
Dooley also said this when asked about Marcus Lattimore, South Carolina's new six foot tall pet wolverine that walks on two legs and can hold a football:
He finds daylight, and when he finds it, he’s got a great spurt. And then he’s just really a brute of a guy.
You write a scouting report that detailed, and we will be impressed. We're sure he's referring to velocity in a short distance, since we also know that if you'd actually seen Marcus Lattimore in his most personal of moments you would swear it cured your bunions, healed your eczema, and gave you this tattoo of a rooster that glows with proximity to Williams-Brice Stadium.
(HT: Palmetto Law.)
(*This is a running gag NOT NEWS SERIOUSLY THEY'RE GONNA HIRE RON PRINCE AND BRING ALONG PATRICK NIX AS OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR MUST CREDIT EDSBS MUST CREDIT EDSBS)
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