Somehow, with some unseen fortune funding it, Colorado State got Jon Facenda to narrate their 1977 recruiting video. It's ten minutes long, and well past the 2010 attention threshold, so we'll post below with relevant highlights by time, since it's the perfect way to start the week ahead, and because you can't be bothered to watch ten minutes of 8mm goodness on Monday at 9:00 a.m.
0:12: Chances proper clearances and royalties were paid for use of "Rocky Mountain High"? Exactly zero.
1:12: Colorado State! It's for those turned on by erotically detailed hydrographical description.
1:55: "Where to start a shot of our one whirlpool? You read my mind: right on the scrotum, and then out to show four men sitting in one tub."
2:04: Zoom: it's the function best suited for exposing the full glory of a quality plaid coaching short.
2:49: Girls in bikinis watch every practice regardless of the elements at CSU.
3:21: "Get the camera all the way up that young man's ass. Championships start in the lower intestine, and we need to show every inch of it."
4:30: HOT LADIES OF MUDWRESTLIN'!
6:28: "What's for dinner? Pancake ass, son. Good ol' fashioned pancake ass."
7:45: Cameraman is convinced ram is sentient, and looking through him like a cheap window.
8:00: Coach Sark Arslanian. The OG Coaching Armenian. Bow down, Sarkisian.
That's just part one. This being Colorado in the 1970s, the second part will feature nothing but nude women with magnificent, untrimmed femme-pelts jumping into the hot tubs standard in all CSU dorm rooms at the time. Facenda's narration: "Enjoying the full, brimming vigor of their supple, warm, and unspoiled bodies, the ladies of CSU are a cross between the athletic Spartan bride and the chipper, eager-to-please All-American girl. Watch as they massage each other in the spirit of Colorado State fellowship."
The Curious Index will be a letdown after this, but most anything besides all the nudity, pottery classes, and beard-growing in part two would be.