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FULMER CUPDATE: MARSHALL PLAYERS REALLY WANTED PIZZA

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It's really the only thing to properly lead off this article.

Have you ever wanted pizza so badly you would kick someone in the face? If you have we suspect you were high at the time, because that is the only time we've wanted it that badly, but we make no assumptions about now-former Marshall freshman defensive tackle Mike Fleurizard. We'll just assume that he wanted pizza like a jackal wants savanna stinkmeat, and was willing to do anything to get it short of actually kicking someone in the face. 

Correction: that should be including kicking someone in the face

The Z-Brick complaint charges Fleurizard threw the delivery man to the ground, kicked him in the face and held him down, while Fleurizard’s accomplices grabbed the food, a carrier and $290 cash. All three fled the scene.

Fleurizard is the only person charged in the crime, though three Marshall football players were kicked off the team this morning for unspecified violations of team rules, including freshman running back Antwon Chisholm, who was mentioned by name in the police report.

Fleurizard's Facebook status, per the Herd's message board, was at the time of the robbery: "hustler- full time go getta- i get money."  Well yes sir, you certainly are all of those things, and with $290 you have the massive "fuck-you" money you'll need to defend a felony robbery charge, and then buy that private island you've had your eye on for a while. 

Three points for Marshall in the Fulmer Cup, though more may follow with more charges. (The points count as they were on campus and enrolled, though all were freshman. To Doc Holliday's credit, they've been booted with a fierceness.)