YOU CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT A MAN FROM THE WAY HE SINGS "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME." He starts with blind enthusiasm, then gets lost, changes the tune, and then grimly sticks through to a cascade of boos. In summary: pretty much a classic [NAME REDACTED] effort.
(HT: Clubhouse Cancer.)
THE DOUG MARRONE CRAFT HOUR WILL BE FANTASTIC. The Big East is looking at a network. Please do not spit the piece of food you have in your mouth out, since people in the "Northeast" actually enjoy "college basketball," and therefore could float the network pretty solidly by itself. They can't count on West Virginia to support the network, however, since the entire state would craftily find a way to pirate the channel and do not lie you know this would happen, West Virginia. (In other news, it's really fun to get your Ric Flair on an address an entire state by name. "YOU LISTEN TO ME, NORTH CAROLINA--")
YOUR CONFERENCE CALLL JUST GOT BETTER. YOU'RE WELCOME. LOVE, BLOGGERS. We ask the important questions, like "Mike Riley, what do you think of LIndsay Lohan?" (HT: The Wiz.)
AND THAT IS HOW A MAN GETS KNOCKED OUT IN THE STREET BY NO ONE. Derek Dooley cannot take all the blame here, since figuring out a bar fight is just as confusing as being in a barfight. The witnesses are all drunk, the participants are often worse than drunk, no one can or is willing to talk about what happened and still fewer actually know. Nevertheless, the results are effectively in, and for the moment a cop managed to knock himself out and end up in the ICU all by himself in Knoxville, and the aftershocks of the VolBrawl seem to have run their course with surprisingly little long-term damage to the team. (Civil lawsuits may follow, of course, but the criminal side and subsequent player bootings/suspensions are done.)
A shocking letdown in the Fulmer Cup, this was.
CATHOLICS VERSUS CATTLE WOOO. Notre Dame may be mockable in a number of fashions, but one is not their consistent attempts to schedule difficult competition after they cram in their traditional but as-of-late candy diet of service academies and Stanford. ND is looking at a four game series with Texas beginning in 2015, and neutral sites are eligible. Two words: CIUDAD JUAREZ. Catholic fanbase, proximity to Texas and a whole potential new generation of Longhorn fans, and guaranteed fun for the whole family!
DON'T FORGET THE PIMPNESS: Once upon a time, before he was a classic, he was a Caesar. Brent Musburger in his toll-booth running finest hour:
Even today Musburger finds outrageous stunts almost irresistible. Take every Sunday night when he and the executive producer of The NFL Today, Ted Shaker, drive home to Connecticut. They invariably bring a cooler of beer with them—two cans of Moosehead for Musburger, three Bud Lights for Shaker. By the time they reach the 35-cent toll plaza near Greenwich, the car lines can be 10 deep. WHAAA-HOO! They floor it through a vacant toll booth on the right shoulder while the other poor saps queue up. Jes' lettin' off some steam, yer Honor.
Moosehead Beer will be the new PBR in five years. Count on it. (HT: Matt Zemek.)
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