Every year the S.S. EDSBS sets sail for the college football season and inevitably forgets half of its gear on the dock. We inevitably have to buy half of it back later at exorbitant prices from local fences, and then curse our lack of planning and general ineptitude. This year is no exception, but here's what has made its way onto the boat for 2010.
SOME CHEAPASS AIRLINE TICKETS. Unless you live in Atlanta, Nashville, or some other very centrally located place, a cheapass airline is well worth developing a cuddly relationship with over the next three months, especially for those souls who elected to become Pac-10 or Big 12 fans. Your love is continental, and most likely requires an airline better than, you know, Continental.
For ATLiens Airtran is your best cheapass airways option, especially since the option of Southwest remains the dreamiest of pipe dreams and the Big Bus in the sky can be fairly nice with the cheap business upgrades, etc. They tend to do a lot of the little things other airlines don't do, as well, like clean the rotting human corpses out of the aisles. We're not mentioning any airlines that leave their planes filthy in particular, but if we were we would mention American because they really do leave human corpses to rot in the aisles.
A LAP DESK. For laptop freaks who will watch the game with the computer open on the lap--all the better to see ESPN 3 on there, and thus add a third or perhaps fourth game running in your living room footballosphere all at once. Save your genitals the displeasing sensation of being hotboxed by a fiery laptop battery by buying one, and don't feel the need to blow money on one, either. Ours cost 15 bucks at a Barnes and Noble, and the jumblies have been grateful for the purchase ever since. (A pillow can do in a pinch, but a hot bastard like ourselves sweats the minute we put on pants.)
DVR. There is no excuse, since DVR comes standard on almost every basic cable box now.
A REALLY NICE SET OF WINE GLASSES AND A FEW BEER MUGS. Because you'll break them by the end of the season, most likely in "accidents." Some of those "accidents" might "coincide" with "70 yard TD runs allowed late in close games." Pure coincidence, we assure you.
QUALITY RAIN GEAR OF SOME SORT. Your climate might vary, but wherever you are at one point it will rain. The best investment we made two years ago was buying rain gear you could ball up in a pocket, which then has kept us from being completely miserable
GEEK NINJA PRO SENSEI TIP: BitTorrent. Shhh. It doesn't exist, and you certainly can't find every game and its footage on the internet using it, not to mention whole seasons' worth of games from season stretching back decades into the historical football record.
FOR THE EXERCISE COMPULSIVE: Seriously, we rigged up a FitDesk to a bike on a trainer, and it only sort of sucks. As long as you're not three beers or over into the day, it's a way to hate yourself ever-so-slightly less for not moving. After that, however, you're simply asking to suffer the indignity of a bicycle crash in the confines of your living room, and that is so much worse in reality than it sounds in theory.
Please leave your own suggestions below, since our list is necessarily incomplete.
Loading comments...