clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:


If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

STAY HIGH, COWBOYS. The choice of song in a position where getting low is valued is indeed odd, but someone at Wyoming simply loves 3-6 Mafia. This is something we will never argue with no matter the venue. 

As for Heather Potter, the young woman seen for all of four seconds at the beginning of the video, we apologize for the new wave of internet stalkers you now have. If you don't want to be stalked on the internet, here's a secret: don't be on the internet as a woman. (Please, gentlemen, bemoan your lack of stalkers in the comments section, and then quietly realize how terrifying it is to have a stalker if you have indeed had one.) 

"WEAK." John Brantley the III on his son's tribute-stache. Well, it is dammit. BUT GIVE IT TIME. A mustache is like a fine wine: it needs time to unwind, grow, and mature before you judge it too harshly. In the meantime at Florida's closed practices, reporters infer the presence of Chris Rainey at wideout and Trey Burton in the Rhinoback/Tebow position. 

DEEP INSIDE THE BODY OF AJ GREEN LURKS A TERRIFYING REN-FAIR HIPPIE WAITING TO BREAK FREE. Georgia's superb wide receiver can juggle, ride a unicycle, and can't stop looking at the big ladies in corsets at the club for some reason. The failure of Florida State to scout this and then recruit Green effectively is just one more piece of evidence that recruiting in the Bobby Bowden twilight years was both poorly researched and haphazardly executed, since budding circus performers and Florida State should have been an instant commit in the making. Postscript: someone must find footage of AJ Green riding a unicycle, because he is 6'4" and therefore would look hilaaaaaarious doing it. 

THE CRACK-UP. Divining of chicken innards and statements by various Big Ten types has Blog Ten leaning towards a likely divisional split between Ohio State and Michigan. As a fan of a conference mostly divided between two powers for the past decade, trust us when we say that If/when Michigan recovers, you do want this split, though not without some guarantee of the game being played with some regularity during the season. Otherwise you're looking at a potential Big 12 North situation with divisional imbalance, though not on the ghettofied scale you've seen in the Big 12. 

DWIGHT "THE CHECK CASHER" DASHER MAY NOT BE THE BEST CREDIT RISK. Dwight Dasher, the quarterback for MTSU universally referred to as 'dynamic," may also add "dodgy investment opportunity" to the list of his descriptors. The qb owes an 80 year old a substantial sum of money, and used allegedly stolen checks for the collateral. These checks may have been taken from an offensive lineman of his. Stealing from a huge man is never a good idea, but when he may be blocking for you at some point is a most un-good idea indeed. 

RICH ROD GIVES YOU WINGS AND LIKE RED BULL MAY BE ALL EXCITEMENT AND THEN LETHARGIC LETDOWN. Tate Forcier now has regained his wings, and is grateful teammates called him out, something showing that Forcier is well-coached in one area: public relations. He also makes this statement about Rich Rodriguez and the extremely sketchy unsourced rumor he was transferring last week. 

"Not even a thought (of transferring)," Forcier said. "I love coach Rod. He's like a dad."

LIke dad, but mostly like dad when he spent all night gambling away the mortgage payment in a poker game, and then has to be really, really good over the next couple of months if he doesn't want to end up sleeping at the Comfort Inn for a while until he finds his own place. 

OUR ROSTER ISN'T THIN. It's "pro-style." 

VIDEOGAMES WORKING FOR THE BENEFIT OF HUMANITY AGAIN: Wii Fit, concussion detector. This is your reminder that the Wii's refusal to make "Intercourse Hero" is just leaving money on the table, genius of Japanese videogame programming.