Safety note: BEER BOTTLE BREAKING OVER THE HEAD IS RARELY THIS FESTIVE AND JOLLY.
One of the first things we ever saw on the internet was a video of some bros attempting to break a beer bottle on their own heads. It was then, watching total strangers nearly knock themselves out and then ultimately spilling grotesque amounts of blood when they finally broke one on a human head, well it was then dear reader that we knew these internets were going to be something special. Well, that and the first time we ever saw X-Files fan fiction on a UNIX listserv. A place with blood and alien/FBI agent threesomes simply could not fail.
The internet's long tradition of bringing you spectacular beer bottle assaults comes via Oklahoma State's starting defensive end Jamie Blatnik. On Saturday morning, a week after being one of OK State's three representatives at Big 12 Media days, Blatnik decided to share a beer with Stephen Denning, a former Cowboy teammate. The method of adminstration, however, was a source of some dispute.
According to a news release issued by the Stillwater Police Department, witnesses told officers that Blatnik fought with former Cowboy Stephen Denning inside J.R. Murphy's, a club located at 306 S Washington, starting the scuffle by striking Denning in the face with a beer bottle.
Denning has a broken orbital socket, and was bleeding as one can only really bleed from a wound to the head (I.e., "profusely." ) For his troubles, Blatnik received a felony assault and battery charge, and thus earns OK State four points for the three point felony and the requisite bonus point for using a classic barfighting implement successfully. Denning contributes to the bonus by his having charged Blatnik after the fight, and requiring the use of a taser to subdue him. Tasers and bonus points go together like white wine and fish, man, and like those two usually involve vomiting and lying on the floor for prolonged periods, too.
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