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A momentary sidebar to what it means to see The Hat without The Hat: that we are treated to a close, personal view of Miles' obvious but impeccably-applied dye job. The contrast between the man before us and the coach in the blown-up photos on the screen is quite humorous, and a little sweet.

•  Opens with a little family talk. "I'm in Baton Rouge to stay." Not having any ponies in this LSU race and just being in this for the entertainment value, we sincerely and fervently hope this is the case.  "Can't wait. Football is here." US TOO, HATBRO.
•  It takes us almost ten minutes to realize Miles has shifted into talking about actual football things. Defensively, he likes what he sees on the interior. Thinks he's got the finest corner tandem in the conference. Offensively? Jarrett Lee? "Has experience." Miles looks suspiciously jacked at this prospect.
•  Asked to guarantee the number of wins this season. Chortles. "I love guarantees."
•  Les Miles pronounces "mature" as "matoor." This tickles us, for some reason.
•  Fearless Leader brings up the clock management. Miles is staring at us through his forehead. The answer: "We went through some of the situations we went through last fall. That did not go beyond my scrutiny. I scrutinized the coaching - me and others. I can promise you that those situations, some of those situations I'd never run into in coaching. Some of those situations I was, even though prepared for, had not envisioned the time constraints. [...] "It's not just lip service. We've changed."
• More: "[We're] going to be in two-minute really for about 45 minutes in two practices," This will not help his math. < --- CHEAP SHOT UP TOP
•  And here's the Miles we love. He just called UNC's offense "excellent." UNC's offense was 108th in total offense in the NCAA last year. LSU's was 112th. You know what this means, right? YOU GUYS BEST CFA KICKOFF GAME EVER EVER. (We are also told that, in a TV interview this morning, he proudly reported that one of his players had "500 yards of footballs" last season. Working on getting video of this.)

And with that, we're out and barreling for home. It goes without saying that no one could have predicted heading into this week that Vandy's presser would be the toast of the league and Les Miles a snoozer, but you pays your money and you takes your chance. We'll have more wrap-uppy type stuff for you lovely monsters on Monday, and will return Digital Viking to its regular Friday slot (which is to say, to existence) next week in the absence of real actual footbally stuff to cover. Peace out, bro scouts.