Los Angeles is a place of expensive tastes: Prada, Gucci, Fatburger...um, yeah. Fatburger. That comparison collapsed almost instantaneously, but let's roll forward anyway to the UCLA/handbag connection we wanted to make. (Rick Neuheisel calls it a European carry-all? Lane Kiffin would call it a stage scrotum, and insist it was smaller than the real thing, baby.)
THIS VIDEO WILL BE RELEVANT IN A MOMENT WE PROMISE
However we get there, UCLA, a stolen handbag, and three freshmen recruits met in a nexus of petty, mundane crime, and poor advance planning of capital acquisition last week as a purse went missing, and three 18 year old recruits--Joshua Shirley, Shaquille Richardson, and Paul Richardson--each face felony theft charges for the incident. This by rule means three points each, though Shirley was released without any bail, a sign he played a minor role in the alleged theft.
At any rate: three points a piece equals nine points in the Fulmer Cup for the Bruins in what is admittedly a misleadingly large charge. Don't blame us, blame the LA County Prosecutor that drags out multiple felony charges for a stolen purse.
WE HOPE HE WAS WEARING JIMMY SLEEVE SWEATPANTS, AN EDSBS PRODUCT BROUGHT TO YOU BY TURFMAN'S. The poetry of the police blotter can really stir the soul, sometimes. Take this breathtaking slice of life, for instance.
Tucson Police Department officers were called to an IHOP Restaurant on North Oracle Road at about 2:40 a.m. on June 19 after a patron reported seeing Dean flash a gun in his waistband, according to police reports obtained by the Star on Friday. Dean was frisked for weapons, according to reports, but officers found nothing. Shortly thereafter, officers found two semiautomatic handguns underneath Dean’s car, a late-model Chrysler 300, according to reports.
It's like Mad Men: they're showing and not telling you there, and thus the beauty. Sure, you could just come out and say that Delashaun Dean is "less than intellectually inclined,' but this is so much more artsy. We just hope he was wearing a pair of EDSBS' custom Plaxico Burress Jimmy Sleeve Waistband Holstered Pants For The Safety Conscious But Fashionable Gangster. They come in all sizes, are made here in the USA, and are available in all major men's styles, including our new "Def Dockers" for the suburban dad who still wants to let the world know he ain't no bitch and got the piece to keep the peace behind them pleats.
One point for Arizona, whose fans get a 10% discount on all Jimmy Sleeve pants if they order in the next ten minutes.
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