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OKLAHOMA AND TAMU LET THE SEC GO TO VOICEMAIL

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Oh, you didn't son. You didn't dare let Mike Slive go to voicemail. You have no idea what power lurks in that tiny man, y'all. He's like Pocket Palpatine: refuse to RSVP for the holiday party, let a thank you note slide by unanswered, and the Emperor will remember, and when he does he will be displeased, sir. 

He won't leave you ungifted, though. Oh, I love White Elephant parties! Yes, I've got my gift right here. A set of plastic golden pigs from the Chinese novelty store! They're great, right? What do you have for me, Commish? MINDBOLTS NOOOOOOO I SWEAR NO---(Sound of infinite pain and screaming)

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Assume Texas A&M are on the Mike Slive Mindbolt List now for life, since they not only spurned the SEC's advances during the Big 12 LOLocaust a few weeks back, they also now have blabbed about it in public. Additionally and more damningly, they complained about the quality of divinity fudge served at the SEC's private tea parties, something which is simply not done in polite company under any circumstances. 

ARDMORE, Okla. — The president of the University of Oklahoma says his school and Texas A&M both received invitations to join the Southeastern Conference during the last round of conference realignment. Oklahoma ended up remaining in the Big 12. University president David Boren said Wednesday that the Sooners had offers from both the SEC and the Pac-10.

We never liked you or your crappy foreign language scholarship program anyway, Senator Boren. (If we wanted to deal with foreigners, they can speak American to us when it's time for them to be spoken to FUCK YEAH.) Boren goes on to say that any offer that did not include Texas and Oklahoma State was not a good offer, and yeah, you might as well make your appointment to be mindbolted, David Boren, cause it's on the way no matter how many courteous letters of apology you send. Block Mike Slive's shine and reap the whirlwind. 

(He will allow you to schedule your mindbolting, however. He's courteous like that.)