Normally, when writing about college athletes, we accept that there is a horizon after which we cannot help them, or unfairly mock pictures of them. They pass from the halcyon days of college into the nihilism of the NFL, where they are turned over into the cold, numb hands of Mike Florio and other writers who molest them in unspeakable ways in the public eye.
This picture, though...we grab you back from the hands of the dead hands of the NFL for one second, Colt, and just appreciate the grandeur here. There are so many things that could be happening here:
- Colt is eating a gigantic invisible burrito
- Colt is in the breakdown section of Swing Out Sister's 1992 hit "Am I The Same Girl?"
- Colt has just been tasered, and is experiencing true eroticism for the first time.
- Colt is flicking off an entire bus full of visiting British schoolchildren.
- Colt is auditioning for I Am Sam 's off-Broadway touring cast.
Whatever the reason, permit us one last caress, Colt, because a picture like that eventually ends up tattooed on someone after a long night drinking. (Someone= us, "long night drinking" = "tonight.")
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