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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/18/2010

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An extremely belated index 

WE HOPE YOUR WEEKEND TRANSPIRES THUSLY: Or at least a hint of the aggregate rock contained in this clip, at least. 

The only disappointment in any of that is that he does not get struck by lightning while soloing, only to continue soloing with his hair on fire and electricity flying from limbs and guitar neck. 

IN THE EXTREMELY GOOD NEWS DEPT: Ohio State's Tyler Moeller, who suffered a severe head injury in a sucker-punch barfight in Florida last year, will play football for Ohio State this fall after recovering and progressing well ahead of doctors' expectations.  Um, dude...

/has awkward moment

/bro-hugs

/wipes tear from eye. 

In other Ohio State news, close captioning is far stranger and malevolent than you might imagine

ED CAN STILL GO SIT IN THE HOT TUB. VOLCANO. WHATEVER.  The appeal of the NCAA's ruling against USC means Lane Kiffin's Tantrums and Tiaras tour may take its Hawaiian stop for the opener against the Rainbow Warriors and get their bowl game in reverse if the bowl ban stands. (Which, by all indications, it will given the numerous allusions to more damaging evidence in the NCAA's lengthy report, including voicemails included that were not released to the public HINT HINT DAMAGING LEAK.)  Ed Orgeron versus eight Hawaiians with broken bottles; WHO YA GOT? (Orgeron, twice.) 

TYING ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE TO FINANCES. No, there's no possible way that could lead to further corruption of the academic process by college athletics. The Knight Commission also recommends drinking milk to settle the stomach before long endurance runs, preferably at least a half-gallon, and more if you intend on keeping race pace. 

MEMES! They're up and filled with Vitamin Ron Artest over at SBN. 

WHAT IS THIS FULL-BACK? We're getting one, and will have to figure out what one does---wait, he's Billy Latsko? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT. That makes so much more sense than whatever that word is you just used, silly person with fake football words, you. 

VIKING: We promise a deluxe edition next Friday, but life is conspiring against our journal of fine living for coarse people. Back next week, or we will climb fifty feet in the air and play a guitar solo in a thunderstorm to atone.