A MOMENT OF SILENCE PLEASE: For the surprisingly entertaining Texas/Nebraska rivalry, please, a pause in your day to reflect on the glories of Roll Right and Major Applewhite's ability to conjure victory out of three stale farts and a slow 40 time:
it's difficult to think of the Big 12 Championship in 2009, and see the clock run out on Colt McCoy only to have seconds magically appear on the clock leading to Husker defeat, and not see the metaphor painted in real life terms months before the event itself. The divorce of Nebraska from the Big Ten happened off the field, but the confirmation happened on the field, and was definite long before the terms of the contract were written in board rooms in Lincoln.
KANSAS MAKES TEXANS NERVOUS. SEE: HIGHWAY KILLERS. Chip Brown's final timeline (Warning: MAY BE EXTREMELY TEXAS-CENTRIC, but this is the Big 12) reveals one of the key dealbreakers for Texas in the Big Move scenario involving six teams from the Big 12 moving to the Pac-10: the floating of a proposed sub of Kansas or Oklahoma State for Texas A&M, something which reportedly made Texas "uneasy" about the deal. Kansas does make us nervous, too, but mostly because of the constant threat of being killed by greasers with kerosene eyes driving long black cars cutting a murderous swath through the cornstalks, their pubescent girlfriends sitting glassy-eyed in poodle skirts in the backseat.
/listened to Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska way too much growing up.
We're sure this will all work out, though, and that teams like Texas Techwill sit comfortably in Texas' orbit forever unto the future amen. #theyllstabeachotherinsecondswhengiventhechance
HALLO UTE. The Utes need a unanimous vote from the members of the Pac-10, but the move should happen over the next couple of days to complete the small "e" expansion scenario for the conference. In the innumerable "winners and losers" columns and posts surfacing in the wake of all this Larry Scott has been singled out as a loser for picking up two quality teams, forcing the hand of the Big 12 and hastening its demise, and setting up the Pac-10 for future expansion involving teams that a year ago would have been unthinkable. That's far more than you might have suspected the Pac-10 of being capable of previously, and way more adventurous than anything Scott's predecessors might have considered.
A MISTAKE WELL THAT IS ONE WAY TO PUT IT BUT TWO CROWN BOTTLES MAKE TWO MISTAKES: Frankie Hammond is living with "a big mistake," according to his mother, who is a wonderful person that if you say anything about whatsoever will call Urban Meyer, who will then threaten to kick your ass in front of a crew of reporters. Um, about that whole "calling someone on the phone and threatening to kick their ass" thing? We call to confirm those things before going large with them, because ethics facts both sides of stories etc. (I.e., this, which we have a call into Bill Byrne to confirm.)
IT'S FAR TOO EARLY TO GET EXCITED ABOUT FINDING WIDE RECEIVERS WHO WON'T TOTTER DRUNK AROUND THE CAMPUS IN AUTOMOBILES. But go ahead and do so anyway, Florida fans.
YOU REALLY SHOULD BE WATCHING EN ESPANOL. The Copa Mundial is just so much sexier over there.