ESPN Commercial Shoot, May 2010. Mack Brown and Chris Fowler speak conspiratorially.
Brown: So, that's all I need to do.
Fowler: I think so. That's what it said on the internet.
Brown: Well, then it has to be right.
Fowler: He's waiting on the set.
Saban: I have eight minutes and 43 seconds for this competition. Don't think I don't know that.
Brown: Let's go, then.
Saban: Everyone hates you, Chris. Six minutes and nine seconds, by the way.
Brown: WHEEE! Golly, this is fun, now.
Saban: I have seen no film on this game, and am beyond irritated at this fact. Three minutes and thirty-four seconds, mind you DAMMIT MARBLES GET YOUR LOSER ASS INTO THE MOUTH DON'T YOU WANT TO WIN I HATE THIS GAME---
Saban: I am exchanging thanks in a human fashion and baring teeth in a congratulatory manner since we have tied in our competition, Mack Brown of Texas. 38 seconds.
Brown: Now, hold on. We don't have ties in college football. I have a third competition for you, and I think I've got you here.
Saban: I have analyzed many possible scenarios, Mack Brown of Texas. You cannot possibly surprise me.
Brown: Think I've got you, Nick. You've been--
Saban. All too easy.
Saban: I am told this is referred to as blocking. Consume, Mack Brown. Consume and know defeat. Seven seconds and departing goodbye.