MMMM FUNKY SAX TRIO. Picking one as a favorite is near impossible, though the ESPN '81 sax trio intro is a leader in the clubhouse, as is the watery, drunk-sounding music from what was obviously a troubled video-digital transfer on the late ABC one from the '90s, if only because that's probably the condition you were in when you saw it.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HASN'T LOST A GAME AS A STARTER, SIR. We love John Brantley. He throws a beautiful ball, has the footwork of a hyperspeed tap-dancing angel, and reads the field like it's a second grade grammar primer. He's a beautiful man, and shirtless he makes women weep with lust, desire, and the proper amount of respect.
You cannot put him---before he has ever started a game--ahead of the reigning national champion's quarterback,especially when he savaged your team's defense in the SEC title game and has not lost a game as a starter. Greg McElroy might look like hot crap in cleats every third game or so, but that's hot crap with an undefeated record, something we'll take over a beautiful loss any day. Speaking of hot crap, look at the rest of the SEC's quarterbacks this year. Good lord, there's some bags of dead ticks (statistically speaking) on that list.
NO ONE'S IMMUNE. In what we're sure will be a positive career move for him, a Naval Academy English professor claims Navy's lost their way in a NYT editorial where he laments favorable treatment for football players as just one of the symptoms of a pervasive malaise at the academy. We know little about the inner workings of the academy, but we can correct one thing: beating a Charlie Weis Notre Dame team really wasn't that big a deal, sir.
YOU'RE A PUSSY. Mark Herzlich is on schedule to return to the playing field this fall after cancer treatment. Meanwhile, you're making excuses about something and you don't even have cancer, pussy. MARK HERZLICH HAD EXCUSES LIKE OH I CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL BECAUSE SOMEONE TOOK A CHUNK OUT OF MY LEG MUSCLE BECAUSE I HAD CANCER. Sometimes you really disgust us.
LAVELL EDWARDS CLEARLY UNDERSTANDS THE INTERNET: Ahem:
Then there's no journalistic responsibility, it seems, for those who put things on the internet. They can write pretty much whatever they want. So I think those things are what have made it more difficult.
He's so very, very wrong. By the way, Edwards supports himself in his retirement by running the largest biker gang/weapons trafficking ring in Utah, and the series Sons of Anarchy is a dumbed-down, sanitized version of his daily life.
BIG HEAPIN' PLATE O' NOTHIN'. That's what Mike Slive will give you when you ask about Big 12 commodities he might consider raiding if--IF--an SEC expansion is in the works, something he is more than amply compensated for, since he received $2 million last year, including a million dollar bonus. If that's what you're pulling down, Mike, please toss some dough around and upgrade the beverage situation at SEC Media Days, plz.
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