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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/18/2010

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I TELL YOU SHE'S NO DIANA ROSS. 

Bee-yantz. Why the copy people for ABC/ESPN don't slip in more improbable names for Brent to mispronounce on is one of the great questions of broadcast television. Kirk, is this...Waka Flocka Flame? What the burning hell is that, Kirk? Salute me or shoot me? I know which one I'd do to someone with a name like that, Kirk. I'd shoot the sonofabitch and tell him he should have done the same to his mother, man. 2nd and 12...they don't make 'em like Rita Moreno anymore...

EVERYTHING LOOKS THE SAME THROUGH COBALT GLASSES WITH LEAD FRAMES. Catholics have such a delightfully long time frame for evaluating things. It's not that Notre Dame can't survive out of the upcoming megaconference system. No, like the Ents in the Lord of the Rings,  they're...just...seeing...the...long...term.  

Swarbrick has said he and the Rev. John Jenkins, the university president, would "evaluate the landscape" if realignment happens. Last week, he said nothing has changed. "From our perspective, quite literally nothing has gone on," he said.

Remember: Notre Dame is planning to survive the Great Hunger and the Sodomite Biker Wars of 2084. This whole Big Televen expansion thing is but a blip on the radar of history. BTW, Notre Dame has just now apologized to Army for its use of the forward pass without warning them like a gentleman would in 1913. Regrets have been expressed, but don't expect an apology over the hiring of Bob Davie until 2102 at the earliest. 

SURE VALID POINTS ABOUT NEBRASKA AND BIG TEN EXPANSION TAKEN. But holy shit, that is a six-head there. 

ANSWER: WELL, PROBABLY. The ACC's Fox-boosted TV deal with ESPN could indeed stave off any defections from the ACC for the moment, but no more so than the SEC's Notre Dame-ish approach to expansion (which may be the right approach anyway, something the ACC would understand after expansion didn't exactly put their football prospects in the "buy" category. 

SORRY JUSTIFIED IS ON. Lane Kiffin will be on Real Sports at 10 p.m., but if you want to watch mushmouthed, self-pitying thirtysomethings with loads of cash mumble, you could just rent Greenberg and save yourself the trouble of giving an attention whore what he wants. Justified will be on at 10 anyway, and if Red Dead Redemption ands in our hot little hands today, there's no way we're watching it for three days at he earliest.