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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/17/2010

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BROS ICING BROS, CONFERENCE EXPANSION-STEEZY. Bros, from time to time, have to ice a bro. There are rules and regulations to icing bros, and if you'd care to know them you may read up on them and then try them yourself in the lab. A warning, though: Ice one bro, and you may get iced yourself, a lesson learned all too harshly by Mike Slive in this instructional video. 

WE DOUBT IT WILL BEGIN WITH JIM DELANY OFFERING THE CROWD A SMIRNOFF ICE. The Big Ten spring meetings do begin today in Chicago, where Jim Delany will likely entertain no questions, murmur quietly, and then orchestrate a Clone War to hasten his eventual takeover of the galaxy and enable the return of the Sith. The article also notes the Conference USA meetings beginning today in Destin, presumably both as humorous counterpoint, and to make us hate the Conference USA for having access to the blueberry donuts at The Donut Hole this morning while we don't. WE HOPE THE BIG EAST EATS YOU ALIVE, YOU BASTARDS. 

FURTHER CONFIRMATION OF YOUR WORST SUSPICIONS ABOUT THE UNIVERSE. While we still refuse to believe that USC is stupid enough to pay Lane Kiffin $4 mil a year, we're all too happy to believe that he really believes in his mind that Tennessee players weren't surprised or shocked by him leaving the school after one year. The Real Sports interview airs on Tuesday, and Kiffin looks like he will repeat the charges of death threats made against his family after he announced his departure. His continued misinterpretations of Vol fans' love is yet another testimony to his enduring imbecility. (In Tennessee, "I love you" starts bound and gagged in the trunk of a police auctions Crown Vic.) 

ATTENTION GOLF NETWORK: If you're really looking for a television home for the ACC, why not try the Golf Channel you know because everyone ends up somewhere around even par HAHAHHAHA ACC JOKES TRY THE BEEF. 

***UPDATE BULLET BULLET BULLET*** The ACC owes FoxSports a cut of a $155 million deal, if the story about them boosting the bidding price is accurate. 

BOISE STATE BALLIN': The Broncos may, at long last, fulfill their lonely desires for the Mountain West. 

MEH. 10.06 is just warming up for Jeff Demps, but was still good enough to get first in the SEC as the Gators quarkback helped usher Floriday to a track title. His own clock had the run at somewhere around 45 seconds, but time slows down as you approach the speed of light.