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OLE MISS TO PLAY BOISE STATE: GIGGITY POTATO DELIVERY

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A chorus warms up behind the curtain. Chris Petersen and Houston Nutt take the stage to announce the Boise State/Ole Miss matchup for the 2011 season. 

PR guy: And now, we'd like to let both coaches talk a little bit about this exciting non-conference matchup. Coach Nutt, please go first. 

Chorus: HMMMMMMMMMMMM

A tambourine shakes. An organ plays. 

Houstonnutt_medium

Nutt: GIGGITAH to the con-gre-GAY-SHUN! 

Choir: GIG-GI-TAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! 

Nutt: WELLLLLL-----

Choir: WELLL----

Bass and organ: Athumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa THUMPA THUMPA thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpa thumpha thumpa...

Nutt: 

Well people gonna ask

Ain't things hard enough

Coachin' and recruitin' and a keepin' it up

People gonna call Houston Nutt and say

Why you invitin' Boise State to play? 

 

Choir: 

GONNA CALL THE WAC

GONNA PAT SOME BACKS

GET THE BRONCOS COMIN AND THAT'S A FACT

 

Nutt: 

WELL LAWDY, there's lot to do in this old world

Coachin' and recruitin' and a textin' my girl

By my girl you know that I mean my wife 

YES MOST DEFINITELY I REFER TO MY WIFE

 

Nuttchoir_3_medium

 

Choir: 

DON'T TRY TO GUESS HIS CELL PHONE RATE 

PRIVATE PHONES ONLY SINCE 2008!

 

Nutt: 

Back from another JUCO trek

Comin' at Boise with a big ole check

Offer forty schollies and I'll offer some more

Then we'll beat the WAC and we'll beat some more! 

 

Choir: 

IT'S A SAFE BET AT HOME

IN A NON-BOWL GAME

WIN YOU GET THE CREDIT

LOSE, IT'S NO SHAME!!! 

 

Nutt: 

Don't favor us or we'll spit the bit 

Underdog forever is role we don't quit

Don't need no qb, no fancy breeds 

Don't believe just ask Jevan Snead

 

Choir: 

A QB IS FURNITURE THAT WEARS A HAT 

CHECKDOWNS AND HANDOFFS, BABY THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT

 

The band begins to speed up. 

 

Nutt: 

Jevan Snead! 

 

Choir:

JEVAN SNEAD! 

 

Nutt:

Jevan Snead! 

 

Choir:

JEVAN SNEAD! 

 

Nutt: 

THERE'S NO NEED! 

 

Choir: 

HE GONNA TAKE A BOISE STATE AT HOME

HE'S GONNA WORK 'EM LIKE A SLIDE TROMBONE

65 RECRUITS YEAH HE'S GONNA NEED 

PLANT EM IN A JUCO AND HOPE THEY CAN READ

 

Together: OOOOHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Silence. 

 

PR Guy: Thank...you...Coach Nutt, for those remarks. Have you any comments, Coach Petersen? 

 

Chris Petersen: We're really excited about this. 

 

FIN.