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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/9/2010

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BECAUSE YOU NEED THE SPIRIT THIS MORNING. It's a repeat from back in the day, but you need some stomping and Ronnie Brown this morning. Nay--you crave it., dammit. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. 

 


Everyone else may take Cadillac Williams, but Ronnie Brown ran like he was paving a sidewalk and needed some concrete in the form of your crushed bones. And he needed all of that urgently. 

THE GUY WHO COULD NOT BEAT OUT JONATHAN CROMPTON IS LEAVING NOT GOOD AT ALL NOPE. Nick Stephens, who apparently has no chance to start ahead of either Matt Simms or Tyler Bray at Tennessee, is transferring to find somewhere where he can compete for a starting job in his senior year. May we recommend South Carolina? Since he has legs, an arm, and can breathe, thus making him irresistible to certain coaches with a hummingbird's attention span and the forgiveness of a hanging judge with scabies? Speaking of--

AS LONG AS HE HAS A WARM BODY ON THE BENCH. The serial dater of coaches, Steve Spurrier is not sold on Stephen Garcia as his starter since he has at least two other people with pulses on the bench. This needs to become a people's movement, like with Stephen Garcia's face with a mustache on a poster and "ESTEBAN SIEMPRE!" written on it. 

JIMBO FISHER THREW A FIT, DOO DAH, DOO DAH. Jimbo Fisher railed about his team's lack of effort in practice, producing a rant described as "Jim Mora"-ish in the process: 

"On either side — I thought it was the worst ball we've played all spring. It's in the culture. It's in the mentality. We accept it around here."

Someone has audio of this, and when it comes out it will be delicious. He also said the quarterback played "not worth a flip," and was described as playing the part of someone in a drama. Guessing from the grammar there, Jimbo delivered the entire monologue as an extra from the street scenes in My Fair Lady. 

THERE SHOULD BE A SUSPENSION OVER THIS. Lemmenade get it VOMITING IN ALL DIRECTIONS---

THIS IS INDESCRIBABLY SAD. Just read it if you're in the mood to start your morning on a down note about a 22 year old community college walk-on dying on the field running after the team, then yeah, click this.  

BREAKING!!! The long snapper situation at Jacksonville State has been resolved. ATTENTION: it has been resolved. Please resume breathing and the activities that make up your long march toward the grave with all due speed.