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CAM NEWTON NAMED STARTER AT AUBURN. NICKNAMES FOLLOW

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Gene Chizik is head coach at Auburn in 2010, and was chosen intentionally by a group of consenting adults. Like many bad ideas, it seems to have worked out pretty well thus far despite its murky, ill-fated beginnings. Life lesson learned: start with the worst intentions and get nine wins, start with the best and you get the Cultural Revolution. 

The Gene Chizik Blues Explosion announced today that their starting qb coming out of spring practice would be Florida transfer Cam Newton. The announcement is no surprise--Newton was favored to get the spot after a superb spring--but the timing is, since it feels like Chizik, having crossed everything else off his list, just decided to get one more thing out of the way by letting the world know who his current starting qb was. 

To-do-list1_medium

Done, done, done, done, done, done, and done: Gene Chizik's to-do list is clean. 

This means we have a a new starting quarterback in the SEC, and the time has arrived for him to acquire a nickname. A review of the names as they stand, league-wise: 

Alabama: Greg McElroy

Nickname: Daggers O'Malley 

Auburn: Cam Newton 

Nickname: Inspiron Behemoth 

 

Arkansas: Ryan Mallett 

Nickname: R-Godd The Trebuchet 

 

Florida: John Brantley 

Nickname: Jackie Pancakes 

 

Georgia: Aaron Murray

Nickname: Defawlt Tha Selectively Indomitable 

 

Kentucky: Morgan Newton 

Nickname: Young Kangaroo 

 

LSU: Jordan Jefferson 

Nickname: Shawty Fat-wigz 

 

MIssissippi: TBD

Nickname: Undrafted Free Agent Signee With A Bottom-Tier NFL Team

 

Mississippi State: TBD 

Nickname: TBD

 

South Carolina: Stephen Garcia 

Nickname: Steve Taney-thrillz

 

Tennessee: TBD

Nickname: Some Large Freshwater Fish of Some Sort 

 

Vanderbilt: NO SUCH POSITION.