The Big Board is maintained by Brian, who is hung like Reggie Nelson. If you ask them nicely, they'll move them and bring back the sun.
NC STATE KEEPS IT SWEEZY. Gut morgen mutter ja eye vass partying viss my friends und they produce ein BLUNT. Mein thoughts vere "Ja, let's smoke und order ein pizza mit meat and cheese and stuffs and watch ze LAW ABIDING CITIZEN on DVD" but zen ein rent-a-cop comes pounding on ze door, und now eye need money to pay ze citation money ja. So sorry, Markus. P.S. Our icy relationship later resolved in ze dramatic scene involving ze angel, ein midget, and ze metaphorical shots of a meat grinder is not changed by ziss request, i hope.
Young Sweezy and three other Wolfpackers--including Markus Kuhn, German national and defensive lineman--were arrested for marijuana possession this past weekend, a single point offense with the group bonus here equalling five points total for NC State. We might up that if we find out one of the bongs is the one with the stoned Pink Panther head as a base, because HE LOOKS SO HIGH BRO JUST LOOK AT HIM HAHAHAHAHA---
/turns on Tim and Eric
SOOOOWEEE VICODIN. Or something like that, since Hunter Miller's arrest is fresh and we're not sure what "controlled substance" he was caught in possession of last night in Fayetteville. It's one point for the moment pending any details. If Arkansas helps him defend the case like they defended anything on the field last year, Miller will be given fifty years hard labor and set on fire.
HELLO MR....MCLOVIN. UGA has a walk-on lineman, Josh Parrish, get caught with booze underage and a fake ID, thus earning two points for UGA and confirming that the use of a fake ID in Athens is a very, very stupid thing considering the proximity of thousands of thirsty students to a hive of wary, ID-inspecting bars.