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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU SHIRTLESS WONDER

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Spurrier_td008_t600_medium

Vim! Vigor! Chest Expansion! All part of the STEVE SPURRIER VITALITY PLAN! Order now and receive: 

--one quart TURFMAN'S HAIR DYE AND BARBECUE PREPARATION SAUCE

--Diagrams of dynamic MASCULINIZING EXERCISES including the TURKISH GET-DOWN, the ORTHOTIC KNUCKLE CRUNCH, and the move that changed Steve's life, the revolutionary LOS ALAMOS THRUST-O-KICKSQUAT.

--one free stainless steel CHEST EXPANDER/HAIR REMOVAL-TRANSFER SYSTEM

--one tube TURFMAN'S HAIR TRANSFER DERMAL GLUE

--five volumes of THE LESSONS OF MASCULINITY AS BESPOKE TO STEVE SPURRIER. Thrill to the tales of watching Pepper Rodgers beat a caddy to death with a five iron! Take wisdom from the anecdotes of his time spent in the mythical city of TAMPA. Oooh and ahh as tells of his two year struggle with DAN SNYDER POISONING. You'll even learn how he found A HOUSE UNOCCUPIED BY GANGS OF VENOMOUS FROGS IN COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA.* 

--one free "BLAKE MITCHELL FOR HEISMAN" t-shirt. **

*We lived there. Don't even front, y'all. 

**Happy birthday, OBC. Love you 4ever.