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Ghost riding the whip didn't die in 2005: it merely went on an extended MIddle Eastern tour, picking up momentum through turkey, taking a diversion through those crazy drift-driving Saudis, and then spending time in a Yemeni jail for six months on molestation charges. (Guilty, since ghost riding did forcibly make love to all of Yemen, Oman, and most definitely put a hurting on Djibouti HAHAHA GET IT.)  Then it went to Iraq, where American servicemen really worked the hell out of the concept. 

Ghost Riding still lives in Knoxville, where Tennessee safety Darren Myles was arrested after being thrown out of a sushi restaurant and demonstrating his determination to keep the party going by riding on the hood of a car in the parking lot on Saturday night. California rolls get his dander up! Avocado is the fruit of passion, public intox is the cabbage of college football misdemeanors, and the pork of the orchard that is the Fulmer Cup awards three points for Tennessee for the intox, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. 

The Florida judges award no bonus points for lack of weed and firearms, and notes concern over the increasing effeminacy in Tennessee players tastes: Priuses, sushi, shirtless pics with oil....

/sips gourmet coffee

/defrosts Trader Joe's thing for lunch

/schedules expensive haircut. 

/straightens designer frames.