clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

FULMER CUPDATE: TEXAS A&M POKES ITS WAY INTO THE STANDINGS

New, 16 comments

The_poke_medium

RCsMom

You know how it happened, though we must reiterate that hitting girls is an automatic bonus point. With that said, this is a case study in "how not to get your lady back" from the Aggies. 

According to the police report, Dorsey's ex-girlfriend told officers that he had gone to the rec center to discuss their break-up.

"The technician arrived at the scene of the gas leak, and determined what he needed most at the moment were a good cigar, a roaring fire, and a colorful sparkler to improve his mood."

When he arrived, according to the report, the two began arguing in the parking lot.

"Bystanders were stunned when crocodiles began devouring man wearing the suit made of entirely of bacon." 

She admitted to police to pushing his face a few times and poking him near the temple with her finger.

"The technician pulled the reactor control rod, usually only taken out four inches, a full 20 inches from its base."

The argument continued, she said, and Dorsey picked her up by her throat, slammed her onto the trunk of a vehicle and threw her to the ground, according to the police report.

"The reactor core went critical in .04 milliseconds, according to instrument readings."

Police said there were no visible injuries on the woman

Well, there's the good part in what was clearly a brilliant idea from the jumping off point of "let's go discuss a breakup in a parking lot around midnight." Adren Dorsey, the DT involved, has been charged with one misdemeanor count of assault family violence, and with the bonus "hittin' girls" points earns the Aggies two points in the Fulmer Cup.

HT: FOTP.