A style guide to Twitter, as proposed by one MASTER MARKEITH AMBLES, USC COMMIT AND GENTLEMAN TWEETER.
WHEN ONE DESIRES TO INFLUENCE OPINION, one needs to construckt a convincing and thorough'ly ARGUMENT for one's desired end. For illustrative purpose, consider wanton lusting after the digits of predecessors 'pon the logo'd jersey don'd whilst ENGAGE'D SPORTIVELY.
WHEN ONE REQUIRES SUSTENANCE FROM THE SPLENDID TABLE, choose according to the palate's chimerical whims, 'specially if one possesses frenetic calorie-gobble typical of YOUNG PHYSICK'D BODIES.
WHEN THE MOMENT BECKONS, be afear'd not of thy LESSERS, and uncork jugs of lyrical PORT AND SHERRY to baptise thy followers in the ELIXIR of pure verse.
UNTO AND CONCERN'D OF THE FAIRER SEX: Be not overly chaste, nor afear'd of the un-bephallus'd. RESPEKT mix't with JESTING CONTEMPT, be thy guide.
CONSIDER THYSELF ADVISED IN A FASHION MOST EXPERT