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STEVEN THREET CONTINUES HIS TOUR OF TERRIBLE OFFENSES

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Steven Threet might be the Typhoid Mary of bad offenses. It's necessary to first remind you that Steven Threet still exists after transferring from Michigan in 2008, where he formed half of a two-headed quarterback duo in the 3-9 season that kicked off the Rich Rodriguez era. (One and a half wins for each quarterback: splitting up a triiiiiscuit....) 

This came after a year at Georgia Tech, where the departure of offensive coordinator Patrick Nix prompted his initial transfer to Michigan. The decision to leave based on your performance in a hypothetical non-Patrick Nix offense may be the most damning thing you can write about someone's judgment or intellect. It requires no modification or expansion. 

Threet is now at Arizona State, a school that last year averaged 22.3 points a game. If you believe the trend of two theory (and we do,) then the Sun Devils are doomed, because though he may be a fine person and excellent athlete Steven Threet is clearly the vector for some kind of offensive football AIDS, like a tall, white version of Reggie Ball sent out to spawn an outbreak of low scoring offensive games.

In fact, maybe that's how it happened. Threet came into contact with items both Patrick Nix and Ball touched while enrolled at Georgia Tech, and then was himself infected, and then carried it to Ann Arbor, and has now landed in Tempe with a viral load potent enough to take them to depths unseen by even the worst of Dennis Erickson's Idaho teams. Need further proof?  Just look at Michigan, whose offense got so much better after he---

On second thought, perhaps this theory needs further work. Disregard.