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Les Miles missed on a recruit he should have nabbed, if confidence and horse-sized balls are still the hallmark of the Miles School of Testicular Thinking. Recruit Lynden Trail of Florida, put 'em on the table son and tell us what you think of Florida's recruiting class this year and their expectations. 

I know we’ll bring at least 2-3 national championships," Trail said.

There's no job too immense when you've got...CONNNNFIDENCE. God bless 18 year olds. We used to have that kind of gusto. For instance, when we left high school we swore we'd win Florida at least five Quiz Bowl Championships. That was before we started staying up all night playing Sim City and drinking Banana Red Mad Dog 20/20, which is even more cracked than Blue Raspberry because there are at least blue berries in this world, and nothing close to a red banana. Unless you're counting those tiny red plaintains, and you know for damn sure the Red Bull marketing staff didn't know they existed. After the Mad Dog came the nitrous, and then Mario Kart, and then the profligate lost years abroad and waiting tables....

...and fifteen years later WHAMMO you're sitting on your couch writing about high schoolers' casual remarks for a living. So to review: drink Mad Dog, play computer games, and eventually work from home while wearing the same pants for three days straight. How this was supposed to be a cautionary tale is lost to us. Carry on. 

(That is from Clambake, Conan O'Brien's favorite Elvis movie and our favorite, as well. At the 3:00 mark everyone drops powerful LSD. At one point Elvis sees imaginary cowboys and indians fighting in stock footage. It is either the best meta-commentary on Elvis in decline made by Clambake's director, or it is the worst musical number ever made. There is also a song about working on a boat. It's total shit and you should watch it now.)