I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT TO. NOW HERE'S THREE DIMES ON McCLUSTER IN THE 40. Say you had this inescapable feeling that the last score of the Super Bowl was going to be a defensive TD, and you've been kicking yourself ever since for not actually putting any money on it. Your redemption is at hand: Sportsbook.com is offering prop bets not only on the 2010 NFL draft but on the combine itself, the hastily guzzled vanilla extract of degenerate football gambling. Convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that Ndamukong Suh can't run a sub-five-second 40? Or that CJ Spiller is certain to do more bench-presses than Jahvid Best? Well, put your money where your mouth is, tough guy. Unless you're content to keep laying sawbucks on dice rolls in the neighbor kids' Monopoly game.
DOES YOUR PROGRAM NEED A GM? This Nebraska columnist seems to think it might, and while he might be just a wee bit glib about the cost considerations at a time when some programs can't even afford to fire their demonstrably underperforming coaches, the idea is at least sensible enough to not be dismissed out of hand.
THE COURT FINDS YOU GUILTY . . . OF LOVING TOO MUCH. A former Iowa City resident will do 30 days in jail for harassing Hawkeye D-lineman Adrian Clayborn. The story is mercilessly stingy on details of what exactly constituted said harassment, but Sports by Brooks seems to indicate that the offender was bursting with stalker-y goodness during last season's Arkansas State game. With red-blooded defender of American honor Ricky Stanzi having Clayborn's back, though, we can't imagine he was ever in any serious danger.
THE CLOCK IS TICKING ON SOME OF THESE GUYS. I MEAN THAT. Not a whole lot of shocking news in this LSU spring-practice preview, but Les Miles saying "There's not a job that's safe" wins points for irony, at least.
COULD I COACH THESE GUYS TO 8-8? OH, IN A HEARTBEAT. Buffalo Bills head coach Chan "Beige Alert" Gailey has the inside scoop on the Georgia Tech players declaring for this year's NFL draft. He knows their strengths, knows their weaknesses, knows exactly how to make the most of their talents. Hey, better late than never, right? The Chanster's always been deliberate like that.
SO HE'S NOT MAJORING IN INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS, THEN. Football players aren't the only college students who need to stay the hell away from Facebook: A candidate for student-government president at South Florida has been penalized for a photo on his Facebook page depicting him holding a handgun and a bottle of booze. But neither those details nor the disciplinary board's melodramatic condemnations of them are anywhere near as funny as this tidbit: "…Both standing at what appears to be a perimeter fence in Israel. Mr. Cohen’s pants are lowered, and he appears to be 'mooning' the Palestinians on the other side of the fence." That isn't a violation of the cease-fire, is it?
AND THE HEISMAN TROPHY WILL GO TO, OH, LET'S SAY REGGIE BUSH. The kind of boldly insightful prediction we've come to expect from Bleacher Report -- OSU vs. USC for the national title. That's how thorough this guy's 2005 season preview is: It took five whole years to put together.