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That duck is walking through a huge O to kick your ass, which goes right with your suspicions that Ducks are the rapists and domestic abusers of the aquatic waterfowl world. Hopefully only the hostility and willingness to fight apply to the football ducks, who score one point in the Fulmer Cup this week with the arrest of Matt Simms, who attacked someone he believed was involved with the earlier assault of kicker Kyle Beard early Saturday morning. 

Simms was charged with misdemeanor assault and is out of jail, but this isn't over for two reasons. First, when a bunch of people are involved in the head-kicking of a teammate, there are a lot of asses to potentially beat in retaliation. Second, they will retaliate, because DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.

(Oh, and still nothing on the Masoli/Embry theft story, which became even less relevant when Chip Kelly announced Embry's departure from the team along with Terrance Montgomery and Andrew Iupati. No charges, no points.)