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NICK SABAN BEATS GOD IN FACEBOOK WRESTLING MATCH

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Nick Saban has more fans than God on Facebook in Alabama. We weren't aware Nick Saban was even on Facebook, since Facebook is where your mom hangs out, and, well, we ended our relationship with her years ago. Correction: we weren't even really aware that God was on Facebook, and fear investigating this in dread of him rejecting our friend request. This would solve one thorny accusation by existentialists, though: he exists, but he's just hitting the "ignore" button every time you talk to him. 

Saban's supremacy over the Supreme Being on Facebook gives AL.com the chance to make the greatest graphic in the history of sports journalism. Should you ever want to understand the SEC, please refer to the image below. 

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via media.al.com

So, let's see: Louisianans are about the excuse to party, Floridians are about branded stimulants and have no soul, Alabamians are prostrate at the feet of their midget sadist genius of a coach, and everyone else is at church.  Georgia has no data, but there's a reason for that. The amended graphic after the jump will explain. 

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There. That explains it all. Quoted in the article is Auburn grad and pastor Stephen Jones, who said this in a not at all joking way and was we're sure one hundred percent serious about this internet study and the ramifications of choosing Saban over God on Facebook. 

"Alabama fans should expect a bad year," said Jones, a 1977 graduate of Auburn University.

God was available for comment, but said he had to check with his boss before making any statements, and that it would be a while since Coach Bryant was at the track and wouldn't be back until Wednesday at the earliest, and maybe later depending on how many of his ponies came through.