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FULMER CUPDATE: WSU PLAYERS PROVE PULLMAN, WA IS LIVELY, INTERESTING

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Just another night out in Pullman, WA. 

The high-performance bond to purchase for all time in the Fulmer Cup has been Washington State, the small dynamo consistently cranking out Fulmer Cup points like the pinata unceasingly belching out caramels. The Cougars--arguably the worst football team in the nation two years running at the D-1 level--still manage to produce points in this game, and kick off the 2010 season with a pair of point-worthy stupidities. 

 

  • Brandon Jones, the starter at corner for 11 games in 2009, was booted from the team following a DUI early Saturday morning. A standard DUI gets you two points, though if we found out he was outrageously drunk or did something like steal a robotic pig while drunk, we'll provide bonus points as needed. Jones was a redshirt junior and did expect to see playing time, but given Washington State's defense last year his anticipated replacement Rolling Adjustable Office Chair would provide comparable pass coverage. 
  • He was undoubtedly born fighting with a name like that, but Jordan Pu'u-Robinson continued what was likely a lifelong hobby by being arrested for fourth-degree assault in Pullman for something described as a fight. Simple assault of the misdemeanor variety gets you one point in the Fulmer Cup. Ha. Pu'u. 

Thus the Cougars receive a total of three points in what are still the opening innings of the Fulmer Cup. Let Mike Price's Ghost be praised, especially when he's tucking in phantom dollars of the g-strings of local amateur theatrical dancers.